Assessing Values & Habits is a Better Investment Than Goal Setting

It is the beginning of a new year, which means many of us are making goals or resolutions. I would like to reorient our thinking some. Instead of goal focused, I would argue that aligning our core values alongside daily habit formation is what makes the biggest impact on our lives.

Why should we assess our values and habits instead of making a list of goals? Because what we value is the essence of who we are. If our values are one thing, yet what we do on a daily basis (aka our habits) do not reflect those values, then we are not living in a place of harmony with ourselves.

We live in a fast-paced, goal-oriented society. It is easy to get caught up in goal making, especially this time of year. A goal is an aim or desired result. Goals are measurable. So, for instance, if you want to get a degree, there are measurable steps to move toward that goal. Classes you must take, assessments that must be passed. And, goals tend to have an end date. On this date, my goal is to have this raise, or be this weight, or visit this place, etc.

In our desire to live in a more embodied state, where we are living in tune with both our body and spirit, I would encourage you to Shift your perspective from goals to habits. Habits are the little things that you do daily, day after day. 

If you really think about it, most of what we do is a habit. According to psychologists, anywhere from 50-90% of our day is habitual: our thoughts, patterns, food choices, activities, etc. Achieving a goal only changes your life for that moment. When I received my PhD, that was a goal achieved. And it was super exciting that day, but then I woke up a few days later, and I was a bit unsteady. I was so used to working towards that big goal for so many years, that I needed to reassess who I was without that goal. 

Think about those big moments in your life when you achieved a goal. Graduating from HS, a job promotion, maybe when you had your first child. Those were epic moments. But, those moments did not happen without the daily habits that led to that goal completion.

It is your commitment to the process that determines your ultimate progress. 

One of my favorite books is Atomic Habits by James Clear. It really changed my thinking. His main point is that we need to make the habits we desire a part of our daily routine. He argues that what we practice will become a habit. Basically, we are our habits, in a nutshell. So, if there are some habits that you want to incorporate into your routine, like drinking more water, for instance, Clear would argue that the best way to do this is to stack that habit around another habit you are already doing, such as eating a meal. 

When we think of habit formation, we are going to explore it from a 2 step process. First we are going to evaluate our values, and then secondly we are going to think about how our habits are a reflection of those values.

1. What are your core values?  

Values are your individual beliefs that motivate you to act a certain way. We tend to think our values are “right,” however they are highly influenced by the culture we grew up in, including our home life. Values are important to recognize and frequently assess. You may also have values that you want to embody in the future. 

A good way to figure out your core values is to first sit down and think about what makes you tick. What activities bring you the most joy? What is something you can’t live without? What gives your life meaning? Then look at the following list and pick out 3-5 values that speak to you at your core. 

       2. How can your daily habits reflect these core values?

Remember, habits are an investment. What you do daily adds up exponentially. Let’s say you want to practice deep breathing daily to regulate your nervous system. Look for a habit that you already have ingrained in your daily schedule. Maybe you sit outside your kid’s carpool each day for 15 minutes waiting for school to be let out. You could add your breathing exercise then. This will not take up any more time that you were already spending on a daily basis. James Clear would call this “habit stacking.”

Practical Exercise:

Make a list of habits that are already in your day: walking, brushing your teeth, picking up kids, driving to work, etc.

Then, make a list of things you would like to add to those habits that reflect your core values. The most practical way to change who you are is to change what you do. This requires deep reflection, and a plan with specific habits in mind. 

Finally, take a moment and write down what an ideal week looks like for you. Or just start with an ideal day. Some suggest thinking about a typical Tuesday. Write down what you do on a typical Tuesday. And think about the habits and rituals that you would like to incorporate into your typical Tuesday.

• What habits or rituals do you envision?
• Is this reflective of the person that I want to be?

If everyday you come home from work and then sit on the couch and watch Netflix, yet this isn’t something you want to value, then you will need to come up with new habits to replace this habit. Maybe that means meeting up with a friend for a walk after work and then you only watch tv for one hour instead of three. Creating new habits take time, patience, and deep reflection. You want to keep re-evaluating what is working and what is not.

Pausing to assess your values and analyzing your habits create more freedom. Because you are living in greater alignment with yourself, you move away from pathways that are no longer serving you.

Let’s start this new year reflecting deeply on the things that matter most to us rather than making a list of goals that  society may be dictating for us.

                                                                            By, Jennifer Metten Pantoja